my simple life

2008-06-12T02:34:00.000-07:00

i've moved.

http://raudhanggunz.multiply.com/

2008-03-25T21:03:00.000-07:00

Last evening was a super unplanned date with some old friends. Dinner started with just Mariam, Nani & me(and Haziq). Later on, we were joined by Shafik, Hafidz and Nash and afterwards Faridz came over after being activated by Shafik. Heh. It was just like 1998-1999 once more.

We chatted, caught up on old times and just cant believe that we are now 25! Its been what? 9 years after secondary school. Shafik & Hafidz are in the police force, Nash with Fed Ex, Faridz's an IT expert, Nani's a nurse, Mariam's a trainee teacher and myself, working in a bank. We are not doing too bad. Considering we were the slackers of the batch. Hard to believe but we are all adults. OMG! We are old! A slightly more matured us though one thing has not changed, we are still full of crap! Heh.

Its nice to know that we are still friends after so many years. And that despite not meeting up for the longest time, we still had the chemistry and its as though we've always been keeping in touch.

Like i mentioned before, friendship requires effort. Period. And i guess yesterday was an effort.

Love.

2008-03-21T10:37:00.000-07:00

2008-03-21T09:53:00.001-07:00

The following was cut from my younger bro's blog. I cried upon reading the entry. I miss my grandfather. Really.....

the memories

memories shall stay in my heart,
eventhough u are apart,
u left us all without a sign,
u were always strong in our minds

u were always there for sis,
when dad and mum were piss,
u luv her so much coz shes the eldest,
u dote her so much coz she was ure first

i was more closer to granny,
she took care of me from elementary,
but u were close to me as well grandaddy,
the lost of u is still felt deeply

the stories,
and jokes u shared,
some were funny,
and some were bad,
i was glad i gotto see you the last days of ure life,
but ure last breath,
was what i wanted to have

the indonesian songs i hear nowadays reminds me of you,
u like to listen to them on ure cassettes and radio too,
no more smell of clove ciggarette there will be,
it was all fated to be,
and life is just temporary...

yayi

suami,
ayah,
yayi,
kau lah yang ramai sanjungi,
ayah kepada anakmu,
suami kepada nyai,
cucu dan cicitmu telah kau temui,
hidupmu telah diakhiri dengan penuh berbakti

meninggalkan kenangan,
meninggalkan pelajaran,
kau yang telah memimpin kami,
saat kegelapan,
dan menembus segala rintangan

kau telah pergi,
membawa amalan yang akan ditimbangi,
ku harap roh mu akan dicucuri,
ya Allah ampunlah dosa2 yayi ku,
dan tempatlah dia di sisi orang yang disanjungi

2008-03-21T09:27:00.001-07:00

Friendship takes effort. Period.

2008-03-19T03:59:00.000-07:00

My last picture with my Yai. Eid Mubarak 2007. In loving memory.

2008-03-19T03:25:00.000-07:00

You know what they say. You'll only miss it when its gone. Thats what I'm feeling now. My beloved grandfather passed on. A date to remember. 04.03.08.

A week before him passing away, he was admitted to CGH ICU ward due to a heart attack. Out of the 8 days he was at hospital, I only saw him on 2 days. I can never forget they way he looked. Thinner and somewhat weak. Tubes and wires were everywhere. I couldnt bear to see him in that state. Call me a baby, but when I saw him, I had to hold back my tears. I have never remembered ever seeing him in such a state. He couldnt even speak. I could only make out what he wanted to say by the words he traced out on his blankie using his finger. He managed to 'write' out his intentions of wanting going home badly. I never knew that those few hours I spent at the hospital were my last few hours with him.

He was my maternal grandfather. Someone I was close to when I was a child. I remembered sitting at the back of his bicycle and he brought me around Tampines to look at birds and we'll just have a good time. He was the person who would defended me when my parents were mad at me. I remembered him as a man I deeply respected. I remember him bringing me & my cuz, Far to the swings. He loved plants and birds. And his passion for antiques were proudly displayed at his showcase. I remember one incident clearly where he brought me to town. Just the two of us. I was so young,then.

But as I grew older, I rarely went over to visit him and my grandma. Busy, was often made an excuse. I often found myself searching for excuses not to visit for he was a pious man and me, a rebellious teen. Still I tried to make it a point to come over at least once a month.

When he was hospitalised, I thought it was common for old people to encounter these problems. But when I saw him at ICU, for the first time, it struck me that I could actually lose him - which I later did. When he was discharged, I was relieved. Maybe he's better now, I thought. I thought wrong.

The conversation that took place early morning of 04.03.08 was a conversation I could still recall clearly.

...My handphone rang @ ard 7.30am (04.03.08)

Cuz Far(sobbing badly) : Siti, Yai da stop breathing. Ambulance is bringing him back to CGH now.

Me (shock) : Ok, ok I get ready now and I cu there.

We hung up.

...My handphone rang @ ard 7.50am (04.03.08)

Cuz Far (stil sobbing..worse than before) : Siti, Yai da takde...

Me : Huh?

.............

I remember hanging up in disbelief. He was gone. Just like that. Without saying goodbye.

Now that he's gone, I still have visions of him. Maybe not everytime I close my eyes. But most of the time, I do. I miss him.

He IS my one & my only grandfather. All I have of him now are memories. Memories which I will keep in heart and mind. I love him. He definitely shall be missed. By me.

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya (Hj Ahmad Bin Sirat). Amin.

2008-02-09T09:02:00.000-08:00

This will be a super long post. I can just feel it. So bear with me whilst i get on with my rantings..

January was a good month. Celebrated my birthday with the close few. Lunch with the colleagues and dinner with the Hubs and baby Naufal. A belated birthday lunch the following weekend with my parents & the brother.

And ouh, two gfs gave birth in Jan. The birth of Sarah Insyirah was on 1st Jan 2008 & Amra Maisarah on the 4th. Congrats to the beautiful mummies, Rai & Ais.

February,i got my results for Electronic Media and Print Media. B for Electronic Media. I guess thats a decent grade for a module that is so not me. Like i mentioned before, being an IT idiot and stuff. The module was tough. For me, at least. For Print Media, it was a distinction. Yay me! Heh. Pardon my joy. Its not often that i excel in my studies. I am usually seen as the lazy piggy..the slacker.

Still, the joy is shortlived cos i had to sit for my Public Relations and Mass Media Research exam just before CNY. Not that i celebrated CNY. Mass Media Research is a module i forsee failing? Not only is my lecturer a potential gay, but he seemed offended with my assignment on films depicting homosexual content. How to pass then?

But these aside, the main cause of my unhappiness is that i am so disturbed by the maid abuse story. The circle of friends is busy talking abt the maid who abused the 2mth old baby. Just watch you tube. I mean, oh man. I cant even bear to watch the whole 6 footages la. Who in the right frame of mind would have the heart to abuse a 2 month old infant?! Like WTH?! Even if the maid is not a mother herself, i thought women have a natural empathy towards kid? Where did that go?

Even if i were to give the maid the benefit that she was unfairly treated by her employer, it still doesnt give her any rights to take it out on a baby. The baby is at his/her most vulnerable stage of his/her life with no ability to fight. The mere innocence of the child. How could she even have the heart to do such a thing?!

Reason why i'm being so disturbed by this is for 2 reasons. 1)I'm a mother. 2)My maid will be starting work mid March. As a mother my baby come first. Regardless. call me crazy but if i find my maid so much as to lift a finger on my baby, i'll prolly beat her up then make a police report. No one messes with the mum & her baby. Heh.

*disturbed*

2007-12-24T07:39:00.000-08:00

We are almost reaching the end of 2007 and in a matter of days we will be part of 2008, insya Allah. Its time once again for me to reflect on my doings in the past year and see how 2008 can be as good, if not better.

2007 was a year where I was truly tested. My patience and my ability to go through the difficulties I had in year 2007 was made worthwhile with hubs & darling Naufal by my side. Each new day brings about a different challenge and yet, to date I've managed to overcome these obstacles with them both around. I am thus, thankful for having them in my life.My own family, and yes, that includes you, small brother of mine. They were part of my pillar of strength. Despite all odds, still accepting me for the person I am.

I started my job in a bank and at the same time struggled to keep up with my adv dip classes. Just praying that HE shall continue to provide me with the determination to complete the course by mid 2008.

Friends? They form a huge part of me. My confidant and gossip partners. They know who they are. But just in case they forgot, gentle reminder, its Azreen, Ais & Suhaini. Yes babes. You guys make up a reasonable part of my life and despite the screwups, you guys are still the best!

To 2008, I look forward to Naufal learning to walk and hubs as loving as ever. And the rest of the close ones, still remain as dear to me as ever.

Amin.

2007-11-09T09:13:00.000-08:00

Today marks the final day of my examinations for this present term. So much have happened over a short span of time. Lets see.

About some weeks back, I had to go through some stuff at work. Two of my team mates decided to go MIA and left me bombarded with questions from the management. Why am i answerable, you ask? Cos one was a friend whilst the other was my senior. Whatever reasons they have for their actions have no link to me whatsoever. But i was kept guessing why this happened and i somewhat got implicated.

Tat aside, i have been busy with my exams. Although i was only doing two modules this term, the toll was enough. Electronic Media module is no easy feat. Considering that i am so not technology savvy, an IT idiot at that & my lecturer was a deputy editor with CNA, he commands a certain level of commitment & much reading for this module. I am just glad the paper for this module is over and done with. I can only pray for the results. Heh. Print Media was slightly better. I fnd it slightly easier to understand the module as i am able to relate to this medium of media.

I have also been busy scouting for a domestic helper. Why? I would want to move back to Tampines for several personal reasons and only by hiring a domestic helper would i be able to move back.

I am just grateful that i am able to get through this past 2 months. On a lighter note, i am so looking forward to next weekend. My first weekend getaway with hubs & baby naufal. Yay!

Pulai Desaru. Here i come!

2007-11-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

2007-11-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

I truly, deeply apologise for not being able to blog these few days or weeks rather.

Stuff just kept coming up one by one. Crap at work. Sch exams on 5th & 9th November.

I promise to update once exams are over and I would be allowed to breathe once again.

Meantime, I hope the pictures help.

Much Love.

2007-10-07T22:18:00.000-07:00

In no mood for Eid. Just being silly old me. Me & my tantrums.

2007-09-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

A good mix of feelings. pissed + excited + doubtful. The aftermath of just one phonecall. Whats that all about? Will let on when its due. Meantime, i'll just live and let live.

Hope you had a a good Sunday if not better...

2007-09-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

2007-09-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

I finally kicked start my Electronic Media Assignment by going down to Mediacorp Radio and interviewing KC & Fiza O as part of my research paper. My focus was on how radio can win back their young listeners and interviewing them actually made me realise the importance of a radio.

I am not really an avid fan of radio. I do tune in as and when its convenient. To me, radio is just like a routine. Every morning when I am on my way to work, I tune in to Ria 89.7FM and catch RA Krew. On my home, I would be tuning in to Kruz. And when i'm in the car, it'l be again,the radio.

Call me old fashion if you please. But Ipods or Mp3 players do little to fascinate me. In fact my mp3 player has been collecting dust. I get sick of hearing repetitive songs day in and day out. And unlike radio, there is no live element or interaction between myself and whatever I am listening to. With the radio, I can sms my opinions, be a part of a segment. Its more real. Its more me.

When I interviewed the producer-presenters from the radio station, I am amazed at how helpful they were in providing me with the answers which I was looking for in order to write the research paper. They gave me details which I could not find on the website. Considering the fact that they were not paid extra for helping me out, they were oh so helpful. To that, my hat goes out to Fiza & KC for being the 2 super friendly cum extremely helpful djs around.

On a different note. Today marks the 1st day of Ramadhan. The fasting month for Muslims all over. And God! Was i tested in more ways than one. At work especially. Being the quick tempered person that I was, all iI could keep repeating to myself was, "Sesungguhnya Aku Berpuasa". Heh.

So, keeps your faith up, people and may you breeze through this testing month.

Selamat Berpuasa Everyone.

Love.

2007-09-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

2007-09-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

31st August 2007.

An eventful day indeed. Citibank's Dinner and Dance was up 1st. I got this purplish outfit. Sorta gypsy-like. And with the right accessories, i was so looking forward to the night.

Mary, a colleague, was to meet me up at my place and we'll make our way to Shangrila together. The evening was supposed to kick off at 6.30pm. But we thought that we'll arrive fashionably late. Say ard 8pm? Heh.

Whils waiting for Mary to reach my place(she's late, btw), I received a call from hubs saying he's on the way to SGH. Had a work-related accident. His finger got caught in the aircraft door and its then dangling by its last quarter.

Being the examplary wife that I was, i decided to forgo the dinner and dance and rush to SGH instead to be with him but he told me to come only after the dinner. After much persuasion from the inlaws and with a reluctant heart, i accompanied Mary to the dinner.

You must be thinking that i'm some crappy wife. Enjoying the night away whilst the hubs is in extreme pain. Believe me, i did not enjoy myself. I couldnt really eat my dinner portion. Eventhough the black pepper prawns looked super appetizing. Still, on my mind was him.

I took some pictures and left Shang at about 10pm. Called a cab and headed towards the hospital. And yes, i'm still clad in the outfit.

Upon reached the hospital my parents and the inlaws were there. So was Baby Naufal. Hubs was already in the operating theatre. The doctor trying to attach the finger back together. No point everyone waiting another 4-5hrs for the surgery to be over so i told them to head to their respective homes. I would stay and wait for hubs.

Being the scaredy idiot that i was, i waited at the lobby instead of in the ward cos its like suoer scary & i while the time away sms-ing those close to me & thank god my dearest cousin Far decided to accompany me for the night. She reached the hospital at 1.30am and she, being my life saver, brought cleanser for me to wash away the gunk of make up on my face. By then,, i had already changed to my ordinary clothes that my mum brought lah ok.

When we got up to the ward, hubs was already back from the operating theatre. I asked how he was feeling and Far & I then spent the night on the chairs in the ward. Its super uncomfortable but i was glad i had someone close to me go through it with me.

Hubs was discharged the next morning. And now on 1 month mc.

I'm just glad that the whole ordeal is over. Now is just the recuperating stage.

Next will be some pics of Citibank's Gala Premiere 2007.

Have a good Tuesday,people.

2007-08-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

I apologise for not posting any new entries for the past 3 weeks. I have been super caught up. Thats why.

August was a hysterically busy month for me. Work was not too bad. Except for the fact that I rarely get to go back on time. Other than that, work has been a breeze.

August 21st was the day I went back to school for my part time classes. Advanced Dip in Mass Comm is so not like Dip in Mass Comm. Big difference. The modules I am taking for this term are Electronic Media and Print Media. Lost is the word I would use to describe my experience in my EM class last Tuesday. There are so many different technologies that are related with media & you should know by now that I am so not a "technology-savvy" person. The lecturers though, were not too bad. One is a senior producer for CNA and the other used to be a journalist with ST. School's really taking a toll on me. Reaching home at 11pm after classes only allows me to see Naufal asleep and it breaks my heart not being able to spend more time with him.

He had his 3rd month jab on the 15th and I was not able to accompany him to the paedietrician's as I had to work. Hubs & MIL sent him there & according to hubs, Naufal didnt cry. So brave. The paedietrician said that at 3 months, Naufal's underweight. He weighs 5.5kg and that's underweight? OMG! Sometimes my arms get pins & needles from carrying him too long. Still, she's THE doctor.

Come Friday would be our Dinner & Dance. Cant wait. The theme? Movies. I've yet come up with the perfect thing to wear lah. Heh.

Till the next entry, have a good weekend people.

2007-08-03T23:34:00.000-07:00

Words does little to express the joy he brings to me. Just let his pics do the talking.

2007-07-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

I went back to work Monday, July 16th 2007. Leaving my precious at home was a hard one. Harder than the 4 entry tests I had to take to get the job. After a gruelling week, i am now officially a Citibanker.

2007-07-10T23:26:00.000-07:00

Although it simply breaks my heart to leave Naufal at home, I believe the time has arrived. Despite concerns from my MIL & my own mum, I am ready to go back to work.

Yes, Naufal & i are quite comfortable on hubs income w/o me having to go back into the workforce but being shopaholic me, i just like having my own stash of cash which i can spend it in any way i want w/o anyone undermining my spending decisions. Heh.

But i loathe the process of getting a job. The resume-sending, interviews after interviews, settling in the new environment. So leceh can! But come month end of each working period, the pockets get filled & thats the time to rejoice.

And i get to say, "Come Naufal, lets go shop!"

2007-07-10T09:48:00.001-07:00

Its been weeks since I last had a good, undisturbed sleep. Naufal usually wakes me up twice a nyte for milk & a change of diapers. Yet tonight, when he's sleeping in the living room with my parents, I am still unable to get my much needed forty winks. There's just so many what ifs.

"What if he wants milk?"

"What if he wants me to pat him to sleep after his dose of milk?"

"What if he senses i'm not anywhere near him?"

I know that my mum will take good care of him through the night yet I just am not settled enough to sleep.

Motherhood is just a weird thing. Its amazing how one's needs & one's wants contradicts.

Eg. I am yearning for a one on one date with hubs. Maybe a movie or just a dinner. Just us. I know I can count on my parents or my in laws to look after Naufal for a few hours but I just cant bear to leave him at home.

Or like the time I was down with high fever. My temperature ran up 39.7deg. My boobs were engorged and yet as self centered as I might be, instead of resting & focusing on getting better, I was more worried about Naufal. Worried that he might catch whatever I was having & true enough, he caught a flu & cough shortly after. I felt so guilty each time i had to put nose drops into his nostrils or feed him his cough syrup. It must have hurt his tiny body so much coughing & sneezing away.

Peculiar aint it?

I know i keep repeating this but Naufal is of utmost importance to me. Nothing else matters.

2007-07-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

the king of my heart<3

my naufal & me

naufal's very 1st haircut

2007-07-10T02:01:00.000-07:00

Its surprising how having your own child changes you. From a zero tolerant person to someone with the utmost patience.

I am not a patient person. My tolerance level is super low. Lower than most people. I cant stand kids wailing their butts off in public or testing the power of their lungs by shrieking away demanding their parents' attention. I simply cant stand such behaviour.

But having a child changes you, i guess. When Naufal whimpers to steal my attention, a slight delay & he'll just screams away. He'll scream when I take a long time to prepare his milk formula, or when i'm changing his diapers or he'll just simply wails out loud when he wants to be carried. Instead of losing it like i always do, i actually try to soothe him with all the patience i could gather. Being a hot tempered person by nature, trust me, this was no easy feat. Especially when this happens during the wee hours of the morning & his daddy is away at work on night shift. Its just another attempt to test my limits. But surprise, surprise, I have not lost it.

Naufal does bring out the best traits in me. Traits which I never knew existed in me.

I love my Naufal. And nothing ever beats a mother's love.

2007-07-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

baby Naufal & mummy

2007-07-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not being able to update for quite awhile. Seems that motherhood has kept me a lill busy & yes, i'm still learning & enjoying every minute of it.

Back track to the past couple of weeks.............

Baby Naufal caught his first flu bug 3 weeks back & guess where he caught it from ??? Me! I was down with hgh fever. My temp ran up to 39.7 deg & although i did not carry him or sleep with him let alone breast feed him those three days, he still caught the flu & cough from me. Thus, we had to reschedule his Hep B jab.

Right after the 40 days confinement period, i took baby Naufal out to meet Auntie Su & Auntie Ais @ Tamp Mall. And he had his first trip to Orchard some time last week.

Baby Naufal will grow up to be like me. I honestly thinks he enjoys window shopping. He is very well behaved in public. No tantrums. Yet at home, putting him to sleep can be quite a challenge!

Baby Naufal has had his fair share of visitors. Besides the usual family members & relatives, friends like Namira, Rai, Aiza, Su, Ais, Nafisah, Ezrin has dropped by my place to visit Naufal. And he's enjoying every bit of the attention. Thanks guys for coming & all those lovely gifts you've presented to Naufal. Buat susah jek.

Btw, Naufal had his first haircut this afternoon. Will upload the pics in my next entry.

Much Love.

2007-06-07T02:26:00.001-07:00

2007-06-07T02:13:00.000-07:00

Naufal is now 23days old & i finally managed to get the hang of things. As in the whole motherhood routine.

Lets back track a little. To my birth story. 23 days ago. Dated 15th May 2007.........

I was admitted to East Shore hospital on that fateful day 9am in the morning. All jittery. Khalil was with me throughout & i was braving myself foe what was about to come. I was 3cm dilated then & the gynae inserted a plastic hook-like thing to burst my waterbag. I was put on drip to further induce the labour. I was told of the 3 methods of curbing the pain. The gas, the drug & finally epidural. When the contractions start kicking in 1/2 hr later, i swear the gas was as ineffective as it can get! Either my treshold of pain was too low or i do not know how to breathe in the gas. Through the mouth or nose? I dont know.

An hour later, around 10.30am, i caved. I asked for the epidural. I had to curl up into a ball and a long, long needle was stuck into my spine to allow the epidural to kick in. Aaahhh. No pain. Literally. To date, i swear by epidural for childbirth.

My labour lasted for 3 hours & many said that its one of the fastest labour & that i should have just hold on a bit longer so that i could go without the epidural. Heh. Anyways, Haziq's umbillical cord was either short or i was not strong enough to push so, the gynae had to vacuum him out of me. When Haziq's finnaly born, i was exhausted. My body felt weak & i barely had the energy to look at him. Kental arh Raudhah!!!

I was then pushed to the normal ward & there, i slept for like 2hours before i woke up & asked for my baby. Then on, i realised, i'm finally a mummy.

Naufal Haziq now completes me & khal. Alhamdullilah.

2007-05-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

He's finally arrived! The one who's arrival i've been anticipating. Naufal Haziq. Born on 15.05.2007 @ 12.04pm. My pride & joy. Shall update my birth story soon. Meantime, take care people.

2007-05-03T06:53:00.000-07:00

Sod it! Man Utd got trashed by AC Milan. When AC scored their 2nd goal, i got so agitated that my stomach literally hurts. It hurt quite abit for about 1/2 hour. Hubs thought I was going to deliver due to the agitation. Heh. But no. False alarm!

This sat will be Shafaat's & Ardila's wedding. Their solemnisation will be at the ROMM at 10.30am but me & hubs wont be able to make it cos i am due for my check up at 10.50am. So we'll only be at the wedding around 12 till the end considering the groom IS hub's younger brother. We got them a weekend resort getaway as their wedding present. So hopefully, they enjoy their time together away from all the hustle & bustle of Singapore.

**We've finally agreed on my precious's name. Baby Naufal Haziq. Cant wait for his arrival!

2007-04-27T23:44:00.000-07:00

:::my wOrkstation:::

:::ganesh & peggy:::

:::me & ganesh:::

:::claudia & me:::

:::nicole,angeline & me:::

:::me,peggy & my personal nutritionist,doris:::

:::good friends,good time:::

2007-04-27T23:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my official last day from work. It was supposed to be on the 3rd but they gave me an earlier release which is good cos i am being paid to stay at home. Goodbyes are always kinda sad but i wont say that my departure from the company as saying goodbye. I've made some really really good friends during my stay with the company & yes, we promised to keep in touch.

The colleagues that i have are not the typical same-age group kind of people. They are between the 30s-40s and yet we clicked from te very first time i met them. Conversations are usually about work, kids, food, practically EVERYTHING..! Their mature insights on issues often make me look at things in a diffeyrent light & i have to admit that i'll miss the lunchtime chatter & the office small talks.

A few close ones took me to dinner @ Fish & Co. Parkway las night. A farewell dinner meant for me & Peggy (also leaving yest.) We had a good time. Eating & taking pictures. Apparently they like to take pictures too! Never judge people because of their age. These bunch of ladies were the most happening 30-40 somethings i've ever met.

Enjoy the pictures & have a good weekend, you.

2007-04-22T19:10:00.000-07:00

Its just one eventful incident after another for my & baby.

First is the infection which I have yet to know the outcome.

Then on Saturday evening, I had a fall. From my platform bed. Yes. It might sound ridiculous to some but hey, the outcome can be quite fatal for baby. It was around 4.45pm & hubs was taking his afternoon nap as he would be on night shift later that day. I was He was asleep on the right side of the bed & I was watching telly on the left side of it. I somewhat felt the urge to go to the kitchen & get a glass of water. This meant that I had to get off the bed on hubs' side to get to the door. I tiptoed to avoid stepping on hubs' foot, instead, I tripped over my comforter & I fell off the bed with a thud. Luckily, I landed on my knee & not my tummy. The fall must have been pretty hard cos hubs immediately woke up from his sleep. (this despite me not even making a sound) He helped me up & alhamdullilah, only my right knee was bruised. I was really shaken by the entire event cos I didn’t feel any movement from the baby for about 10 whole minutes & it was enough to drive me NUTS! My imagination got the better of me & I was almost hysterical. Thank God, after that the baby moved as per normal. I have never imagined that the sigh of relief felt that good.

Being the self-absorbed person that I am, I never thought that I would worry about anyone more than myself. This incident however has taught me otherwise. I was so worried about my baby. So much so that IF something had happenned to him, I would not be able to forgive myself for it. This just proves one thing, A Mother’s Love Does Endures It All…..

2007-04-21T00:15:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my gynae's. She cant determine much about the infection as i'm still under antibiotics so, i'm advised to finish the course of medicine & come back on the 5th to do some tests & also to check for the baby's heartbeat.

As of today the baby weighs a healthy 2.5kg & the mummy a whopping 61.2kg! I've put on 800g since last month. Hopefully i'll be able to lose all those added fats once i deliver. Thinking of enrolling for Hot Yoga once confinement's over cos some of my colleagues swear by its effectiveness.

On something random...

I've had like one of the longest tele-conversation with Ais last night. Hubs was at work & so the conversation went on for about 2hrs++. Us being married, the conversation was naturally about the husbands, childbirth & the irks of having irritable relations of the spouse's. (is this even grammatically correct???)

I've not much to complain cos the relations on hubs' side are quite bearable. Noone too particularly nosey or annoying. I pity Ais as she relates to me the trouble she's havin with a certain aunt of the husband or the fact that people are just plain poking their noses into matters where their opinions do not matter.

I recall another close friend who's having problems with her husband's future sis-in-law & being super competitive or extremely showy despite the fact that she looks like that "mouth cancer girl" on the smoking adverts. (trust me, the similarity's uncanny)

And so, i thank God for giving hubs a family that not only mind their own business, they are also the friendly sort of people you would want to associate yourself with.

Kudos to Hambali for being my ever so impartial counsellor.

Dearest Siti for being the quirky little sister that I've never ever had.

And finally, cheers to Fasya & Nurul & Ctea for lending me listening ears when I needed one even before I married their cousin.

*blessed*

2007-04-20T02:37:00.000-07:00

..i'm scared..really..

Tomorrow's my gynae's appointment. The appointment that will determine whether I'm fine. Hopefully the infection will clear by then & i would be free from all tests & what nots. I so loathe the mere thought of being hospitalised for more observations.

Pray for me & baby's well-being.

2007-04-19T01:10:00.000-07:00

I have the sweetest hubs. Don’t mind me as I go all mushy in this entry.

I was out sick on Monday & Tuesday. What I thought was an ordinary pain in the tummy turned out to be something more. Apparently constipation in pregnant women can cause infections & if the pain do not subside by coming Saturday, I am advised to go straight to the hospital for further tests & observations. Scary thought. First on my mind was the safety of my baby. I better start taking care of myself even more. I just couldn’t bear the thought of implicating my unborn due to my own negligence.

Dearest hubs brought me to Carousel (again) on Tuesday afternoon for high tea. Reason he gave me was that he did not get enough of his bread pudding the week before. Although I was not in the mood to gorge myself silly, the moment I got there, I just could not stop myself from practically devouring every single item on display. I just could not stop myself!! And I’m supposed to be sick!! Upon seeing my “healthy” appetite, hubs said that his actual intention of bringing me there was to see me eat proper cos knowing me, when I’m unwell, I transformed into an extremely picky eater. Thanks hubs! Its really sweet & I honestly felt slightly better after the meal.

The night after, I experienced my second contractions. Trust me. My threshold of pain is THAT low! The pain I felt was somewhat unbearable. Now I could barely imagine what the actual childbirth would feel like. I felt as though someone was wringing something out of my tummy & I was sweating quite profusely even under the blowing fan & air-conditioning of my room. I could not sleep. Just groaned & moaned. Thank God hubs was at not at work & he dutifully patted me to sleep, gently rubbed my tummy & constantly ensuring me that everything would be alright & that the pain would subside. I eventually fell asleep. Imagine having contractions w/o hubs around. I would go hysterical, I believe.

I am just thankful that he’s there. For me & baby.

I love you. You know that by now, don’t you.

2007-04-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

::chicken rice ball::kailan in crab meat::scallops::black pepper crab::spicy prawns::

::assorted sushi::

::chocolate mousse::tiramisu::strawberry tiramisu::choc fudge cake::

::their signature bread pudding w vanilla sauce::raspberry sumting::

::chocolate fondue::

Last Monday, i had the nicest dinner with hubs @ Carousel. I ate much much more than hubs, just in case you're wondering. I'l just let the pics do the talking. I'm not called a foodie for nothing ok!

2007-04-09T00:13:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when the hubs is at work & the narcissist wife is bored at home. Heh!

2007-04-08T23:49:00.000-07:00

The looonngggg Easter weekend was spent pigging out & i justify every meaning of the word pig-out. Met the elegant & .T.H.I.N. shiks for high tea @ the Carousel, Royal Plaza on Scotts. We devoured practically everything. From cocktail sandwiches to carrotcake to congee to delightful dim sum before moving on to the highly sinful desserts. Strawberry mousse, bread pudding, ice-cream. I am positively sure i packed on a few pounds that meal alone! We walked along Orchard quite a bit before settling down for some coffee @ Starbucks. Yes, suprisingly our bloated tummies were still able to make space for the latte & Java chips frappe.

We talked about her chef, school & i amused her with stories of my hubs & on that note i must say catching up with shiks was a bliss!! Tho, walking side by side i feel so big & undoubtedly bulky. Hah.

Saturday came & i met siti for sushi. And loads of it at that! Ben & Jerry's followed & i am just too afraid to weigh myself now. On a more serious note, i had my first ever contractions at 3am! Hubs was ready to send me to hospital but i decided to try & sleep it off. Being the darling hubs was, he patted me till i fell asleep. Trust me, it hurt bad! The feeling was a cross between severe constipation & the cramps when your period is just about to visit. I finally managed to sleep nearly an hour later & when i awoke, the contactions were gone.

The next day was more subtle. Nothing much too eat. I doubt my tummy could take in anymore rich foods, anyway.

Today & tomorrow i'm on leave. Yay!! I'm soooo looking forward to my dinner date with my darling hubs @ Carousel. Yes,yes i know what you're thinking. That i just had tea there barely 3 days back. But hubs wanted to try out their new dinner menu & since the last time we had dinner there was 2 years back, so..why not? The anticipation of glorious food is overwhelming but more so is the fantastic time i'm going to have with hubs. We want to spend as much "we" time as we can before the baby gets out. Cos with the baby around i doubt that it's possible.

So there's my looonnngg weekend update. Hope urs was just as great if not better.

2007-03-31T06:58:00.000-07:00

:::the .F.A.T. mummy @ 8 monThs:::

:::baby GAP from sweet Anna:::

:::baby GAP:::

:::more baby GAP:::

:::i just .L.O.V.E. this cardigan from baby GAP:::

Disclaimer : The items above are purchases from baby GAP. No sponsorship whatsoever.

2007-03-31T06:37:00.000-07:00

Last evening was a pleasant way to kick start my weekend. Dinner with Anna & Mus. Mus was late so Anna & i chatted quite a bit whilst waiting for the goon. Ouh yah. Sweet Anna brought a gift for my baby. Baby GAP. I like!! Thanx babe. Like i said you really shouldnt have. =)

An hour later, we had chicken & fish & lamb & spinach & bread. Nothing beats an evening spent with good friends over a hearty dinner. Anna's leaving the country soon thus the dinner was appropriate. We were talking, & laughing & gossiping & just reminiscing about the past.
Past = me & Anna practically hating each other. Heh! But look at where we are now. We are practically good friends. I am soo goin to miss her. Really!

Today i went shopping with Ezrin for more baby stuff at where else but GAP @ wisma. I spent quite a bit there. Maybe I should get a membership or something cos each & every time I step into the store, i literally go crazy!!! I LOVE every single baby stuff in that store. Will post the pics of what i bought in my next entry ok?

We had a very late lunch(4.30pm) @ Breeks. I wanted sushi but Ezrin wasnt in favour. So we settled for Breeks. I had the Baked Seafood Pasta with Mornay sauce & Ezrin had the Pasta Beef Bolognaise. Afterwards we went scouting for a bag as she wanted to get one but there was nothing that she fancy. Ouh yah. Did i mention that Ezrin seems much thinner after marriage? Like really. Every one seems to be losing weight except me. But still, she looked as gorgeous as ever. She was one & i believe still is, the one & the only babe n my previous company.

Our final stop was at Orchard Cineleisure as Ezrin wanted to get tickets for tonight's The Hitcher. I bumped into Fasya & Fly there & yes, we sorta decided to meet up again. Hopefully this time Fasya wont be sooooo busy or on standby.

So there. My weekend. Boring to some, maybe But definitely friend-tastic to me. I enjoyed myself & had the most pleasant times with the most wonderful friends. Tomorrow will be a stay home Sunday with hubs dearest.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend people. =)

2007-03-27T02:36:00.000-07:00

From: Siti R Osman [mailto:sosman@seabancgroup.com]
Sent: Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:32 p.m.
To: 'feedback@ctpl.com.sg'
Subject: RE: FW: Taxi Driver (8942D)
Importance: High

Dear Ms Jean

I believe your reply that you sent to me further proved my point that my complaints were taken lightly.

I quote from YOUR email that I board taxi SHB6029Z. If you had bothered to read my email properly, this is not the taxi that I made a complaint against..! I made a complaint on taxi 8942D & 6542M. It puzzles me how you arrive with taxi no. 6029Z.

I have exhausted all patience in following up on my complaints & I regret to inform that I would be taking further actions to make sure that my concerns are heard.

Thanks & Regards
Siti

From: CTPL
Feedback [mailto: feedback@ctpl.com.sg ]
Sent: Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:19 p.m.
To: Siti R Osman
Subject: Re: FW: Taxi Driver (8942D)

Our reference: 2007/03/1648

Dear Ms Siti

I refer to your email on March 27 with regard to the trip made aboard the said taxi of SHB6029Z.

Please be assured that we view every complaint against our driver seriously. The complaint will be investigated. Following the investigation, our Investigation Officer will assess each case based on the facts and details to determine the course of action.

We can understand your frustration over this unpleasant encounter and you eagerness to see that something is done about the driver. However, the time is needed to ensure that a thorough investigation. Once the investigation is completed, we will reply to you soonest possible with the result.

Should you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me at 6552 4525 for assistance.

Yours sincerely Jean Ho
Customer Service Officer
Customer Service Centre

"Siti R Osman" 27/03/07 12:17 PM
To<>
Subject FW: Taxi Driver (8942D)

To : Whom It May Concern
RE : Reckless Driving by Taxi Driver (Registration 8942D)
Place of Incident : Kaki Bukit Ave (The traffic light beside Hitachi Building)
Date of Incident : 15 March 2007
Time of Incident : 1.27pm

Dear Sir,

I have just received your auto generated reply that you require another 7 days to investigate the below mentioned issues. I am utterly disappointed with the way your end is handling these issues.

First of all, your request for the additional 7 days was auto generated which showed no sense of responsibility & sincerity in resolving this issue. Should your end require more time for investigation, I believe an officer from your end should have the common courtesy to write personally to me instead of sending me a template.

Secondly, I believe that the past 2 weeks were sufficient to investigate the issues & the fact that the status of the issues are still unresolved posed a question of efficiency on your end.

Despite these incidents, I have been a patient & continuous commuter of Citycab & Comfort. I regret to inform you that I am unable to grant more time for your “investigations” & I will be writing to the Forum pages instead & await public response as I believe I would be able to gather fair & just comments on the matter instead of just receiving an auto generated reply.

Trust that the above is in order.

Thanks & Regards
Siti Hp : 9225XXXX
Email : sosman@seabancgroup.com

(The correspondence explains the "efficiency" of our feedback system. Like, whatever lah...)

2007-03-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

::: baby gap jacket & shoes :::

::: zara baby :::

::: precious tots :::

::: cute mittens :::

2007-03-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

Its been quite awhile since me & siti spent time. Just the 2 of us. The past few weekends have been pretty occupied with weddings and time with hubs. So i'm very much elated when i finally get time off with dear siti.

Initial plan was to just go down to town, catch Stomp The Yard or Music & Lyrics, have dinner, walk a bit, eat some more and head opposite ways for home. When we met at about 3pm this afternoon, we decided to have a late lunch at Sakura. I didnt really feel like having anything heavy so i just ate the yu char kway whilst siti had the Tom Yum kway teow. Afterwards we walked to Nike @ Wheelock cos siti wanted to get this pair of Nike slippers. But when we got there, the slippers she wanted were not available. So we went to Stadium @ Taka & again, no slippers. Since we were already at Taka, we got ourselves some gelato from Venezia & a piece of brownie from Brownie House. We sat infront of Taka & told some stupid jokes whilst catching up on some gossips.

It really amazes me how siti & me can get along real well if u note the age gap. We are like 7 years apart & we are like super close. We can just chat about anything & everything. We share clothes & secrets. Siti is like a sister i never had. Only thing is, she's not my flesh & blood. She's an inlaw. Still, i LOVE her to bits & who cares, she's a REAL sister to me.

Back to my Saturday, being out with siti means not giving up till she gets what she's out for. After getting high from all the sugar & laughter, we walked to Paragon & Heeren & yes, still no nike slippers.

Then she dropped the bomb on me. She first saw the slippers at Nike @ Vivo. Arrrggghhh. She should have just said so in the first place. Uggghhh. Never mind. Being the sotong she is, i forgive her. We caught the train to Vivo & our first stop, Nike. YES..!! The slippers were there but guess what??? No size! You mean all the way to Vivo & still no slippers. i give up. We just walked around a bit more before stopping for some toasts & teh-c. And more talk.

Our day would not be completed without some drama. On our way to the mrt station, the fire alarm at Vivo sounded & all entrances/exits leading to the carparks & train stations were sealed. Like seriously. An announcement was made over the PA system but I could not hear a word. Those noisy apeks & ah sohs overwhelmed clarity of the announcement. So we waited & half hour later, the entrances reopened. That concludes our Saturday.

Although siti did not get her slippers, I got a nice Baby GAP jacket & shoes for my baby. Next week, I will return to GAP & get more stuff. Like this cute little cardigan for boys & sandals. Maybe i should create a wishlist for the baby. First on the list, Baby GAP.

I love Baby GAP. =)

2007-03-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can’t complete
Listen
To the sound from deep within
Its only beginning to find release
Oh the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
All cause you won’t listen

Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I’ve tried and tried to say what’s on my mind
You should have known
Oh, Now I’m done believing you
You don’t know what I’m feeling
I’m more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I’ve gotta find my own
You should have listened

There is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died
So long ago
Oh I’m screaming out in my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and burned
Into your own
All cause you won’t listen

I don’t know where I belong
But I”ll be moving on
If you don’t
If you won’t
Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start but I will complete
Oh, Now I’m done believing you
You don’t know what I’m feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I’ve gotta find my own
My own.............

*i loved the movie tho hubs disagree..i love this song..& i love gorgeous Beyonce(this hubs would agree 1000%..pffftt)..!!!*

2007-03-15T02:00:00.001-07:00

Remind me again why I loathe public transport???!!!

2007-03-15T01:54:00.000-07:00

To: 'feedback@ctpl.com.sg'
Subject: Taxi Driver (8942D)
Importance: High

To : Whom It May Concern

RE : Reckless Driving by Taxi Driver (Registration 8942D)

Place of Incident : Kaki Bukit Ave (The traffic light beside Hitachi Building )
Date of Incident : 15 March 2007
Time of Incident : 1.27pm

Dear Sir,

At the above time & date, four of my colleagues & I were waiting for the Green Man to appear before we crossed over to our office building (Eunos Techpark). I was the first person to put my leg out to cross once I saw the Green Man but my movement was stumped my by colleague who pulled my hand back. The taxi driver of 8942D was trying to turn left without waiting for us to cross. I once again looked at the traffic light & confirmed that we had the right of way & any vehicles turning left was to give way to pedestrians crossing first. This reckless & inconsiderate action of the above-mentioned taxi driver nearly got me knocked down if not for my colleague who pulled my hand back.

I regret to mention that this is my second complaint towards your taxi drivers within year 2007 itself. The first complaint was just before Chinese New Year against taxi driver 6542M. Upon making my first complaint, I was promised that an officer would revert back to me within 1 week or so. One week later, nobody reverted back to me & I had to call up & follow up on my own complaint. This time, the cause for complain is even worse. And again, I was promised that an officer would revert back to me within 2 weeks or even earlier. So I assume that the latest I would be receiving a phonecall from your officers would be on 29 March 2007. Should I not get any replies by then, I would not hesitate to write to the Forum pages of local newspapers & make these issues public as I believe that the society deserves to know about these reckless & irresponsible taxi drivers & the empty promises that the officers make on the customer service end.

I have been booking for taxis under Citicab & Comfort for as long as I could remember & if this was the level of responsibility of your drivers these days then I would be more than willing to switch to other taxi providers. Afterall, safety & responsibility are of utmost importance to me when taking a taxi.

Trust that the above is in order.

I look forward to a satisfactory reply.

Thanks & Regards
Siti Raudhah
Hp : 9225XXXX
Email : sosman@seabancgroup.com

2007-03-12T01:40:00.000-07:00

For the past few weekends, I have been attending engagements, weddings..one after the other.

On 03.03.2007, my dear cuzin Far got engaged & the day after, I attended not one but two weddings. Ouh, did i mention that Far did practically everything herself, make up & all & still she looked superbly good!!

Last weekend (10.03.2007 - 11.03.2007), my long lost sister, Ais, got married. I attended her solemnisation on Saturday & on Sunday her reception. Ais, despite whatever displeasure some people showed, your wedding was truly a beautiful one. You were one gorgeous bride & everything went on as planned. Well, mostly. But some of the unexpected things were just beyond your control. So, just ignore them ok? Your majlis was truly a success!

Next Saturday, 17.03.2007, I am to attend yet another wedding lunch at Mandai Gardens. Meaning : Shiks, I wont be able to meet up for brunch. Sorry babe. I will call u in a bit to reschedule okies?

As I grace these happy occasions, I am once again reminded of mine that was like 8 months back. Time flies so fast that coming 29th Mar, I would be officially married for 8 months. Gosh,it felt as though that it was just yesterday that I was busy preparing for my big day. All those months of bookings, savings, planning...but I simply LOVE planning for weddings. Anyone looking for a wedding planner, CALL ME. Nyehahahahhaha.

And ouh, another reason why I just love weddings is that I get to meet up with old friends. Last week, I caught up with Erin. Its been months since we last met up to chat & yes, gossip. She's been sooo busy. I blame it all on her shifts. Hmmph!

During Ais's wedding, I met up with old friends like Fid, Raudhah (kecik) & Fatitz. Things were still the same despite not meeting each other for a loooooooonnnnggg time. Put the age factor aside, we were still behaving like adolescents. Giggling away, making stupid jokes, offensive statements, sadistic remarks. I had a good time. Suhaini & me being the pregnant ones were well taken care of, thank you. =) I am just super glad that time apart does not change the fact that there was still chemistry amongst us.

Its time like this when I realise that I just love my friends.

2007-02-25T22:51:00.000-08:00

This will be as random as an entry possible. No particular focus.

As of today, my darling baby is of 28 weeks old & the mummy has gained yet another 4.7kg in the last one month. The baby is weighing 1048g & the rest of it belongs to the mummy. My God! Aside from the s.u.p.e.r fat cheeks, i seriously do not know where the rest of the fats actually went to. So, from today on, no more Ya Kun. No more Coffee Bean or Spinelli's in the morning. No more Swensens or Fish & Co. for dinner. Ugh! Ais, how???

Anyways, I went to Rai's & Asnor's wedding last saturday. And Rai was like so superbly gorgeous. The wedding dresses that she wore were specially tailor-made or so i heard. My deepest congratulations to them both & my many well wishes to the couple who I felt has been together for the longest time.

On the note of relationships, I miss my Shiks! Its been weeks since I last saw her & I know she's busy with work & boyfie & school. Sometimes I wished we were back in our sec sch days where we quarrel & laughed & talked about practically everything! We've been friends 10 years & counting. True, which friendship is smooth sailing. We've had our fair share of fights & misunderstandings & till today we are still good friends & I am most thankful for that. So till we meet on the 17th, I shall be counting down the days. =)

Another blossoming relationship will be of my dear cousin Far & her beau or should I say soon-to-be fiance, Yunus. They will be getting engaged this Saturday & so, CONGRATS cousin dearest. I am so happy for you. Tho, with my current state, I wont be able to help out as much as you did on my wedding, I will be there by your side throughout the whole event ok?

Here I leave you with baby's 18th & 23rd week's pics & a 3D image of his face. Not very clear tho. Gynae Heng says the boy looks like his mummy. =)

Have a good week ahead everybody.

Love.

2007-02-25T22:41:00.000-08:00

::: 3D image of baby :::

::: baby @ 23 weeks :::

::: baby @ 18 weeks :::

2007-02-16T00:43:00.000-08:00

Dont mind my rantings as I voice out my unhappiness towards uncivic-minded Singaporeans.

My usual after work routine is to wait for a cab along Kaki Bukit Ave so that I do not have to take the bus bustling with people & spend my time getting irritated with ignorant people who would not give their seats up to pregnant women like me. So on that fateful Wednesday (2 days ago), as usual, I waited at my usual spot for a cab. Then came along a couple who stood a few metres away also waiting for a cab. They stood in the direction where the cabs would be coming from so that any cabs that drive past would notice them first instead of me. My first reaction was to get mad as I was there first but I decided to calm down & not be judgemental towards them. "Maybe, if a cab comes along, they wont flag it considering that they are aware that I had been standing there before them & that my tummy looks as though a baby is about to pop out at any time.." After 20mins of waiting, a cab came along. I flagged it down. Then within seconds, the couple also flagged the cab down. The cab stopped for the couple instead of for me although I was the one who flagged it first. When the cab picked the couple up, & stopped infront of me (the traffic light was red so they had to stop), I literally stared at the passengers inside the cab. Being gracious, he actually asked the cab driver if he should go down & give in to me. The cab driver's response "No need, you didnt know she was standing there what..." Then what the hell was I standing there for?? Waiting for the moon to drop????

I got so infuriated that I took out my mobile to lodge a complaint against cab driver 6542M. 1st, he CHOSE his passengers. 2nd,he actually responded that way to the passenger's question. The officer in charge will be investigating the matter & he will get back to me in 2 weeks time.

Where have all the civic minded Singaporeans disappeared to? What if at that point of time I was actually waiting for a cab to take me to the hospital? And who is the driver to judge whether a passenger should go down or not & give way to other passengers?

I believe I am not being a typical Singaporean who complains practically about anything & everything under the sun. My complains are justified.

There.

I have let my steam out.

Shall await the response from the officer. He better.........

2007-02-12T18:39:00.000-08:00

The last time i saw my grams was on Aidiladha. After that, I was pretty much occupied with my own life. So much so that when I heard that my grams was sick cos she missed me, I felt a pang of guilt.

I called her to ask how she was & this was pretty much the conversation....

"Nyai demam?" (Grams, u having a fever?)
"A ah, demam. Da seminggu. Nyai baru ingatkan Siti lepas tu talipon bunyi. Da lama Siti tak dtg. Nyai tak tahu perut da besar ke belum ke. Siti baik ke tak ke.." (Yah,I'm having a fever for about 1 week. I was just thinking of you when the phone rang. Its been a while since you last came. I was wondering if your tummy has grown bigger or whether you're doing fine)
"Siti ok." (I'm ok)

The conversation continued on till the topic on me giving birth. She said that since my mum was working & so was I, she would not mind looking after my baby. She still feel that she's strong to take care of one more baby. Upon hearing this, my tears just welled up. Never have I thought that she would actually offer to take care of my future precious due to her age & health condition. I was extremely touched.

Eversince I was a baby, I was not looked after by my parents but by my grandparents. She, especially had always been there to back me up when my parents got mad at me. She took upon herself to feed me & bathe me & love me. Wen I was 2-3 years of age & I returned to my parents, I still constantly slept over & she was the one who would get me ready for school, comb my unruly hair & walk me and my cousin to the school gates. Even now, adult as I am, she still kisses my cheeks each time she sees me. I have always had such a strong connection with her that I constantly shudder at the thought of losing her. So when she said that she missed me & that she was unwell really breaks my heart. I have neglected her for the past 2 months. Obssessed with my own life. I am sorry, nyai. I will visit you this week. I will.

Although I am not very good at expressing my thoughts & feelings in person, I really love you nyai. I really do. I hope you get well soon. I will be praying for your well-being....

2007-02-11T16:25:00.000-08:00

My weekend was a simple affair. I was at my in-laws with siti & hawa & we spent the whole saturday making cupcakes. Plain vanilla, Choc chip with milo frosting & vanilla with strawberry frosting. The results? Super delicious,i tell you. But dont take my word for it. Take a look at the pictures below. I guess pictures DO speak louder than words.

Who thought making cupcakes could create so much chaos in the kitchen. Even hubs couldnt believe the noise that 3 of us were creating over cupcakes. Hehe. After all that hard work, we ordered a pepperoni pizza, aloha lovers, meatballs, drumlets & had a feast. No wonder i'm like putting all those extra2 kilos..!! Nonetherless, I wish i had a longer weekend. Hmmph. Two days were simply not enough..

On Sunday, I just stayed home & do lots & lots of spring cleaning. Hubs was at work & I was alone at home. So i decided to be THE domestic goddess. :) Ard 8pm, my little cousins came for a visit & I realised that I can have sooooo much fun with kids! My aunt who brought her kids over told me that my grams was sick & that i should go visit cos the last time i went over was on Hari Raya Haji. Yup, it was that way back. Me bein occupied & stuff. I'l make it a point to visit this Thursday since it'll be hubs off day.

Its back to work & i cant wait for the upcoming LOOOOOOOOOOONNNNGGGGG weekend ahead. % days more to go..............

2007-02-11T16:23:00.000-08:00

2007-02-08T01:37:00.000-08:00

Its Thursday & the weekend is just 2 days away. Yayyy!!! I love weekends. I literally hyperventilate thinking about weekends. Its when i get my day off from work and spend time with my loved ones. I love weekends when hubs dont have to work. But even if he's working, I still find joy spending the weekends with sweet siti or some gfs.

This up & coming weekend would hopefully be of no exception. Mother-in-law will be going to KL so i'l have to go over to babysit hub's granny. Hub's not working but due to my babysitting, we wont be going out. So me,siti & hawa will be staying in, ordering pizzas & meatballs, bursting our lungs out on Father-in-law's new Samsung karaoke system & afterwards, we'll be making cupcakes. Two kinds to be exact. Chocolate with Buttercream Frosting & Cherry-Vanilla with Cream Cheese Frosting. Ouuh I like....

Will post pics of my cupcakes next week. Till then, have a good weekend my dears.

2007-02-05T23:41:00.000-08:00

I just simply loathe logging onto blogger these past few days. The lagging. Uggghhh. Anyways, here are some random pics. Note my chubby cheeks in all the pics (except the one with Fanny & Chev) cos to date i'm 5 months ++. Have a good Tuesday people. Cheers.

2007-02-05T23:36:00.000-08:00

2007-01-25T21:48:00.000-08:00

With Every Breath You Take
And Every Tiny Move You Make
With Every Single Beat Of Your Heart
I Feel You
You've Become An Irreplacable Part Of Me

As Each Second Ticked Away
And Each Day Passes By
I Anticipate Your Arrival
For That Will Be The Day

Your Mere Existence Brought Me & Him Closer Together
Binding Us Through This Remarkable Bond
You Complete Us, Baby
Its Amazing,
But You Really Do...

2007-01-23T06:38:00.000-08:00

"Try not to put on too much weight when you come for your check up next month." Tats wat my gynae said to me at the end of my monthly check up. My current weight is 53.1kg & i'm 5mths preggers. Due to my small built, she advised that my baby preferably not exceed 2.8kg during full term,if not i'll have trouble delivering & might have to opt for a C-section. Ugghh. I shudder at the mere thought of being cut across my tummy. Better start eating less. But I have not really been eating that much to begin with. I rarely take breakfast. Lunch will usually be something light like noodles. I loathe the sight of rice during lunch. And more often than not, I'll usually skip dinner. So where is all these extra pounds coming from??

Maybe its due to my few indulgences with hubby dearest lately. On my birthday, we had a simple yet nice dinner. Fish & Co. @ Glass House was the ideal setting. It was where we went on our first date & now, 3 & 1/2 yrs later, we were there celebrating my birthday. Then, the following Saturday, I had a sudden craving for authentic Turkish food. The last time i had my Iskender kebab was when we were in Bursa,Turkey. So when hubby told me i could choose between Sofra Turkish Kitchen & Alaturka Turkish Restaurant, i settled for the latter. And I soo had no regrets. I was reunited with my Iskender kebab (its thin slices of lamb cooked with a special sauce,pieces of turkish bread & a dollop of yoghurt on the top). Heaven i tell u..! Hubs had the Adana kebab (spicy lamb with a side of vegetables & pillaf rice). Sedaaap giler. Baklava ( a sweet Turkish dessert with pistacchio nuts) with Dondurma (tats Turkish ice-cream for you) was up next. The perfect ambience, complete with the evil eyes(a Turkish superstition) & Turkish tiles on the walls, the metallic Turkish plates was just a cherry on my entire pie. Though Turkish food tasted better when we had them in Turkey,Alaturka Turkish Restaurant @ 16 Bussorah Street has officially become my new favourite restaurant.

2006-12-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

Reason why I had not updated earlier or even logged on to msn was that I just had a gut feeling that not all who befriended me are genuine people. They are there when its time to sit & be merry yet they just disappear like a gust of wind once a minor tremor hits. I was just pissed & upset. I isolated myself & just stayed in the comforts of the the 4 walls of my bedroom with occassional meet ups with some gfs. But now I'm back. Feeling better than before. Dismissing those as twits who just do not treasure the true meaning of friendship.

I've started my job at my new office. Its been exactly a month & to-date, work has been such a bliss..!! I never thought I'l actually say that about work but its true. I am the youngest in my office. Most of my fellow comrades are of 30 years and above. the eldest is 62!! Can u imagine working at 62??? Its situated much nearer to home & I'm enjoying a better salary package. The workload is manageable & yes, I love my new job & hopefully it stays that way :)

My monthly trip to the gynae was 2 days ago & my baby is growing well & healthy. He's now weighing 206g in my tummy & the kicking has indeed begun. My tummy has started to protrude out & yet some ignorant Singaporeans just plainly refuse to give up their seats to me. How dumb can these goons get? I have a skinny body & skinny legs. How could i just be fat with that tummy?? Ridiculous!!

Still,i'm in a jolly mood. I can't wait for to begin the new year & anticipate the arrival or my baby.

Happy New Year People..

2006-11-29T20:43:00.000-08:00

..she is the dearest person to me ever..the closest person to my heart..my pillar of strength..pls bring her home..i need her more than i think i do..pls..

..she is the one who gave birth to me & have been through lots with me for the past 23 years..nothing ever escapes her motherly instincts..even when i try to hide my feelings from her, her concern often weave their way to the roots of my problem..somehow,she always has the solutions to my problems..thick & thin..ups & downs..u name it..we've been through it..never the angelic daughter she wished she had..still,she stood by me,against all odds..never once giving up hope & belief in me..

..now its her turn..her time of crisis..& i want to stand by her & go through all this crap with her..but how do i?..when she's away from me..how can i be her strength when she's no longer beside me..

..pls see her home..safely..pls..i really need her & as much,i know at this point of time,she needs me too..

2006-11-28T01:14:00.000-08:00

..WHY DO MEN CHEAT..

*& i'm NOT talking abt khalil..khalil loves me & the feeling's mutual*

2006-11-24T19:15:00.000-08:00

my darling su..slamat pengantin baru..i am like soo excited for you..cant wait to see you guys in a bit..hehe..mcm aku plak yg kawin..i'm sure u'l look gorgeous..

so here's to my beautiful fren,the bride..may u have a blessed marriage & cheers to a walk down eternal bliss..*kiss*

2006-11-24T19:09:00.000-08:00

2006-11-23T01:17:00.000-08:00

I just realised something..that babies would outgrow their clothes quite quickly & purchasing branded apparels for them would actually be a waste of money..eventho i just love how this little cutie looked in Ralph Lauren..but since it would be a waste, why not get sumthing for the mummy instead?..say a Coach bag..?? *grins* ..hey its to carry the diapers..?

2006-11-22T21:52:00.000-08:00

As of 22nd November 2006, my precious is 14 weeks old & i cant believe that i could actually see my baby's gender through the ultrasound scan..& yes, my precious is a B.O.Y..yay!!!..not that i would have minded a girl but i really wanted a boy as my first child..

Now that my precious's gender has been made known to me, the next step for me is to find a suitable name for him..i wouldnt want my boy to actually grow up with old-fashioned names like Ali or Ahmad or wat..Dont get me wrong..I am not prejudiced towards these names but I would definitely prefer my children to grow up with "nicer-sounding" names & of course, the beautiful names must come with beautiful meanings..

I was thinking Ilhan Mansiz..*smirk*..& hopefully my boy takes after the handsome Turkish player..However to-date, i found out that there is no meaning for either Ilhan or Mansiz..Its just an arab sounding name with no particular meaning to it..absurd right?..khalil wants the child to have "haziq" as his second name but i, dont particularly like the ring of it..& in the first place i dont even know what "haziq" means..

So ppl,now that you know the baby's a boy..start saving up for Baby Osh Kosh cos i sooo love the clothes there & ouh, i wont mind Zara Kids or Levi Kids or even Ralph Lauren Kids for that matter.. :p

2006-11-21T01:32:00.000-08:00

i need a break.i desperately need a break..from everything..i am stressing myself silly over my pregnancy & the upcoming finances & work & all things related..i need a break..even if i'm not allowed to travel, can i just have a day retreat..pls..

i was supposed to getaway to bangkok & kl in dec with some gfs but due to me being prone to puking,i wont be able to make it for this trip..then i planned a day retreat to batam with anna just to laze ard & pamper ourselves silly at the day spa of either Batam View Resort or Holiday Inn Batam..yet thats not going to happen either cos Khalil wont allow me to go on the basis that i'm expecting & that place is dirty & dangerous..i wanted to go to night safari & even there,i'm forbidden..the ONLY thing that i was allowed to go & was looking forward to,Puteri Gunung Ledang The Musical,the $95 tix were sold out in a matter of days..leaving only the $10 & $30 restricted view tix..who in the right frame of mind would actually purchase those???!!!!!

Just what do ppl expect me to be doing these coming 6 months of pregnancy then 3 months of confinement???..yea,its a damn correct term la..i'm super confined can..!!!

2006-11-21T01:04:00.000-08:00

2006-11-17T07:11:00.000-08:00

i just realized that i have been married like four months & have yet to post the pic of my beautiful wedding..if i may say so myself..

so here i leave you peeps with some of the pics during my event..enjoy & have a good weekend,yea..

2006-11-17T06:59:00.000-08:00

..awaiting for the solemnization ceremony to begin
my beloved family
signing on the doted lines..hence Mrs Khalil

2006-11-17T05:12:00.000-08:00

my new family

us & the sri warisan performers
my lovely family
after a looonng day we finally cut the cake
my long time bestie,shik & lovely nanie

2006-11-11T06:06:00.000-08:00

..anna & i had earlier arranged to meet up for dinner before her boyfie,hairi, gets off work..she brought a fren,liz & whilst waiting for some of her other frens to arrive, us being self-proclaimed tai tais decided to pay DFS a visit..we went straight to the bags section..lo & behold,coach had a new collection of bags can..& i so lurve this particular tote..*hint*

..dinner's next & it was a blast..a much needed evening of madness with just girls(& ouh..a guy)..i had the honour of meeting anna's other frens namely,inah & shireen(shireen brought a guy fren with her who ended up paying for our dinners)..qoute unqoute, kalau tahu order lebih..nyehahahaha..anna's frens were a bunch of great fun..every minute were filled with stupid jokes & outbursts of laughs..as soon as anna mentioned to them that i was expecting,shireen & inah, stood up from their seats at the dinner table to catch a glimpse of my tummy..sorry babes,the tummy's not out just yet..hehe..

..after dinner,we took a walk down orchard whilst waiting for anna's boyfie..we went to topshop to browse & upon hairi's arrival,hairi,anna & i went to F21 for anna's shopping spree..she tried on a top & a pair of pants & ended up not getting either cos she claimed the top made her look pregs & the pants buttless..sheesh..& i thought i was THE fussy shopper..

..heeren was next as i needed to drop by newurbanmale to get a pair of sandals for my beloved brother..he wanted them for his birthday & i ended up getting him those sandals & a fossils wallet as well..hope you liked them little bro..

..afterwards,i headed for home & so did anna & hairi..yesterday was a good start towards the long break that i'm going to have..& come Sunday,i'll be starting my baking frenzy...brownies,muffins & pavlovas...yummm....

till then..

2006-11-09T23:56:00.000-08:00

..if anyone ever thought that after getting hitched,she can stay at home,shake legs,go for afternoon tea,mani & pedi,shop w/o a care in the world..unless ure married to an oil sheikh or a rich tycoon, u can continue DREAMING..like thats ever gonna happen..

..my perfect life after marriage is to ensure that my house is spotlessly clean,prepare gastronomical delicacies for my beloved husband, send & fetch my adorable kids to & from school,high teas with my other mumsy friends,weekly meet-ups for mani & facials,shopping,bla bla bla..u get the picture..thats all but just a dream..i have woken up & smelt the coffee..eventhough khalil earns enough for both of us to live comfortably w/o me having to work,i would like my own income to spend as & how i wish to..

..do u have any idea just how expensive a married life can get..car instalments,insurance,household bills,monthly groceries,toiletries,all those dinner-outs..& that does not even include one's married life once pregnancy strucks..those monthly gynae sessions,ultrasounds,vitamins,the delivery package & what about after birth?..sometimes i shudder at the mere thought of all these expenses..if i were to be a stay home mum, i am positively sure that we would be able to manage..but i would still want to go to faraway places for my vacations & all that extravagant shopping..& i guess thats where i would have to work..to ensure that i have all this additional income to splurge on myself & my kids..

..so i guess,my long time ambition of being a tai tai would have to wait..(tat goes to u too,anna)..until khalil struck gold or i discovered that i am the grandchild of some sultan & have inherited a huge amount of money..and unless thats ever gonna happen,there's always those reality shows where you can win $1,000,000..

..till i achieve my ambitions,i leave you with these gorgeous lingerie which i would lurveeee to lay my hands on..

2006-11-09T23:46:00.000-08:00

2006-11-09T00:30:00.000-08:00

..when i got home from work yesterday, i received a shocking news..my dad got injured..& it was not any ordinary injury..its his head that got bandaged just to stop blood from oozing out..but alhamdullilah,the wound was not that deep to require stitches..if the doctor actually tell him that stitches were required on the surface of his skull,i am sure it would have sent shivers down his spine,knowing just how terrified he was of needles..

..he got injured at work..his stupid boss had asked him to clear some stuff outside her condo..like as though my dad was her personal slave..ugghhh..well,back to the story..as he was clearing the outside of the condo,the latter swung open her window pane & hit my dad in the head..bllod gushed out and like a person with no conscience,that stupid woman potrayed no reactions..offering no form of help,she just asked my dad to go to the nearest GP to seek treatment..like hello,the poor man got injured in his head,no less,because of u can!!!..i'm not some money-grubbing twit who takes advantage of such circumstances,but to offer no compensation,not even medical is too much rite?..if it was up to me,a lawsuit would already be on the way..stupid cina-indon-makan babi..!!!!

..my dad & i see things differently..coonsidering i was his one & his only rebellious daughter..eversince i was young i was never close to him..his methods of disciplining me,were not to my favour..to me,he was this grave-looking man who rarely smiled at me yet could get very friendly with my younger brother & my cousins..his unjust punishments all added on to the rift between us..more often than not,he would give me his scowling face & me, my couldnt-care less attitude..we could even end up not speaking to each other for days..still he is my one & my only dad..& although i rarely say this..i love him to bits..& despite his no-nonsense aura,i know he loves me too..

2006-11-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

..Just when i thought that Tuesday was my last day, my HR director requested that i stick ard just a little bit until she finds a replacement..on ordinary accounts, i would have just given her my couldnt-care-less attitude,but given the kind hearted soul that i am,*ehem*..i agreed to help her out for about a week or so..

..remember my unappreciative colleague which i mentioned in one of my earlier entry?..well,she got on my nerves yet again yesterday & believe me,if i was back in my sch days, my palm would have just gone flying across her cheek..but i've grown up to be a civilised person & thus would not succumb to such actions..however,i did give her the ultimate stare & just stormed out of my santuary & into the conference room where i finished up my work..somehow my other colleagues could just sensed my angst & they tried to cheer me up..but the afternoon was ruined for me..& i was just looking forward for the working hrs to end so that i could proceed to vivo city..

..vivo city?..i made my virgin trip there on Wednesday & goodness me,i think i'm in love..mango..zara..topshop..f21..diva..& i could just rant on & on..& the best part 1/3 of the stores on level 2 were selling baby & maternity stuff..now i have a reason to go & shop..not for me..but for the baby..nyehahahaha..my reason for being in vivocity yesterdaywas not to shop but to collect a file which i left at coffeebean on my previous trip & thank my luck stars,the staff found it..

..my back has been aching these few days & my vomitting has taken a toll for the worse..ugghh..i'm like so tired of muntah-ing can..just hope for this phase to be over & done with & i pray that this bout of vomitting wouldnt last the whole 9 mths..!!

2006-10-29T22:28:00.000-08:00

i cant wait for tomorrow..it will be my official last day with my present employers..yay!!..i cant wait to sit at home & shake my legs..however i cant rejoice yet cos khalil expects me to be up & working again soon..my days as a tai tai will be so shortlived..hmmpphh..still,i shall make the most of my non-working days by doing some baking..yup...some brownies & maybe muffins..for a certain pesky cuz-in-law..yes..u...u know who u are.. :-p

my voice test last week went fine..it was followed by a written test & afterwards,the panel interview..the written test was horrible..how do u answer the qns in perfect malay..like, "Siapakah Condoleeza Rice?" & "Apakah OIC dalam bahasa Melayu?"..that was the day i found out my knowledge in curent affairs totally sucked..bigtime!!..the interview was worse..& i think worse is an understatement..the interview was horrendous..they ask me in their oh-so-puurrffeecct malay.."Apakah pendapat anda tentang kegenjotan politiks di Indonesia?"..i was like...what...???..i was at mediacorp radio from 9am till 4pm & for one second thought that i might still have a chance..but sadly,apart from the voice test i can kiss the producer-presenter position goodbye..haiihh...

ouh..anna & i have decided to start an online baking biz..we are currently collating cake recipes & anna will be incharge of marketing them online as in the website & all..so exciting sia..ehehehe..

tats all for today..i shall leave u guys with some pics taken during eid mubarak..

till the next entry..bye

2006-10-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

its the eve of eid mubarak & i'm behind my desk slogging my ass off as its towards the end of the month & i've got lotsa stuff to settle..other companies give their staff 1/2 day off whilst i got to work the full 8 hours...?where's the justice in that..?reason being we're shorthanded..uuggghhh..so unfair can?

niwaes today is my most beloved aunt's birthday..she was the person who religiously took me & my cousins to all the Disney movies,the Moscow circus & omni theatre when we were younger..she was the one who painstakingly tutor me (the mathematically-challenged one) in Maths when i was in primary school all the way to my O'levels..she was also the one who never gave up hope on me despite the fact that all odds were against me..i am what i am today partly because of everything she has ever done for me ( after my mum)..& i so love her for that..so here,Happy Birthday Teba kusyg..i LOVE u more than i'll ever be able to show..

i just finished chatting with anna on msn & anna,trust me on this,i know what you're going through..& really,i am not saying all this just for the sake of it but i've been in your shoes..i wouldnt say my situation is the same or worse off than urs but i can say that it is almost similar..but for mine,things do work out in the end..for you, my advice is to be patient..the wheel is definitely round & what goes ard will come ard..these ppl will get their fair share of retribution..nvr mind those pretentious,backstabbing twits who agonizes others with their foul-mouthed crap..they are just no-lifers with nothing better to do..so yea,u're much better than that..i should know..although our friendship have been brief,i have gotten to know u much better than i would have ever imagined & this is as honest as its gets..u really rawk la sister & dont let anithing or any goon ever bring you down..

on a happier note..its eid mubarak tomorrow..a time to seek forgiveness,rekindle relationships & its definitely a reason to be able to gorge ourselves silly..sambal goreng & ayam masak merah,here i come..(baby..pls dont make mummy vomit these 2 days can..?)..to all Muslimin & Muslimats out there,a happy eid mubarak to you..Maaf Zahir Dan Batin..

2006-10-22T06:05:00.000-07:00

just when i thought i might not want to get any clothes for eid mubarak..my mummy dearest bought me an apple green baju kurung..its nice..the colour is like so sweet & i just like the simplicity of the design..in short,thanx mummy.. :)

plus the baju that hambali chose 4 me,i have 2 outfits for the festivities..problem is now i really dont have any bag to match my outfits..really..i dont have a bag to match an apple green baju or a blue one..how??..this is so a fashion emergency considering its only 2 days away to eid mubarak & i'l be working tommorow which is hari raya's eve..working full day some more can..hmmpphh...which means i totally have no time to scout ard for a new bag..how..??...

other than that,the house is finally in order..& i can sit back & relax..although most of the cleaning was done by khalil..i still feel so exhausted..or isit that i am juat plain lazy..haha..whatever it is,i am super relieved the cleaning is done & over with..

i'm looking forward to tuesday..not to anithing else but to hang ard with siti & balie & my reunion with the ketupats..reandang & ayam masak merah!!!

2006-10-20T01:04:00.000-07:00

Di sini kau dan aku
Terbiasa bersama
Menjalani kasih sayang
Bahagia ku denganmu

Pernahkah kau menguntai
Hari paling indah
Ku ukir nama kita berdua
Di sini surga kita

Bila kita mencintai yang lain
Mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar
Sebisa mungkin, tak akan pernah
Sayangku akan hilang...

If we love somebody
Could we be this strong
I will fight to win
Our love will conquer all
I wouldn't risk my love
Even just one night
Our love will stay in my heart
My heart...my heart...

2006-10-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

my evening with darling siti was a blast..it was nothing more than the usual gossips..laughs & not forgetting her nonsensical antics..we first went to Tangs to get her overdue birthday prezzie..she settled for some MAC stuff then we headed down to ramen ten to break our fast..i had my favourite spicy dry salmon ramen & tom yum ramen for her..afterwards, we walked to wisma & taka in search for that perfect pair of heels that would look stunning for eid mubarak..

we only had two shops in mind..pazzion & novo..we first went to pazzion..yes,they have beauti-fool shoes that i would love to purchase but sadly, none were eid mubarak material..they were more on the casual wedges & meant-for-office pumps..disappointed with their range, we walked over to taka to try our luck at novo..novo was apparently much better..after looking at rows & rows of shoes..my heart finally settled for a pair of 3-inch strappy nude pink heels..siti was like "isnt that too high for a pregnant woman.."..but lets look at it this way..i'm only 2 mths pregnant & my tummy has yet to show so i think i can still afford to parade about in killer heels..another 2 mths down the road & all i'l be allowed to wear are flats & flipflops..

satisfied with our purchases,we took the super-packed train to geylang..we needed to go to bibik's shop at the malay village as balie has gotten for me a kebarung from there(thanx balie) & my measurement has yet to be taken for the kain..plus siti also needs her baju kurung to be altered as she claims its a little to big for her..done all that we took a cab & headed for home..

with all the preparations for the festivities coming up,i am surprised at myself for not being the least bit excited & stuff..i used to wait for eid mubarak with such anticipation but this year, somehow the mood is just not there..maybe its because i have outgrown all the excitement & i now dread the feeling of having to clean up each time the guests leave my house & now being married, i'm expected to visit all my relatives..no more excuses..dnt get me wrong..i love my lovely cousins & all..i really do..but at the end of the day,i guess visiting is a darn tedious chore..

till my next entry...

2006-10-18T20:40:00.000-07:00

I am seriously missing my babe..& yes,that means YOU shik..its been like what..?a month since i last saw u..? & it really doesnt help that now khalil works funny2 shifts..which means i got 2 be at home when he is & u've got classes & wen u've got no classes,you've got assignments & projects..but i'm glad u found someone special that can make u laugh & smile..& i know u're truly happy..i'm really2 happy for you,too dear..i'm not bein a b*tch abt it but i am missing u can.. :-( ..i miss just walking ard aimlessly & gorging ourselves silly & laughing nonstop at anything & everything & commenting abt other ppl..arrrggghhhh..

i am way temperamental these few days..maybe its the hormones that comes with the pregnancy thing or what but every little thing seems to get on my nerves..the food is not to my liking..my colleague is unreasonable..my face looks fat with my hair..& even when khalil tries to cheer me up,i find it a tad too irritating..i'm being difficult,yea?..but i'm not being one on purpose..i just cant help it sometimes..

hopefully my outing this evening with my darling siti will cheer me up a little..her never-ending antics never fails to make me laugh a little tho at times she DOES gets on my blardy nerves..haha..still..i love u,sis..& i know you love me too..hah!

and ouh..after chatting with anna this morning,i realised that i've not went shoe-shopping for like 1 mth ++ already...i've not even went window shopping for shoes for that long!!..been too occupied with being pregnant i guess..but its still not too late right..i might still be able to get a nice pair for eid mubarak..u think..?..but can i still wear heels?..yes i know i'm only like 2 months & my tummy is not even showing yet but they said that the 1st trimester is supposedly at its most fragile stage..but i love heels..!!!!!!..how????..anyone..??

2006-10-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

As of 16.10.06,my baby is 8weeks 6days old & is 2cm only..so tiny right?..the very 1st time i visited my gynae,i could hear the heartbeat & see the baby move a little via the ultrasound screen..i was so amazed..Masya Allah..the wonders of God..

Still,i think my baby is a fussy one..refusing to accept whatever I've eaten..e.g..last Saturday i met up fai & flo for breaking of fast..we went to Marina to have some chicken & potatoes..barely an hour after the meal,i had to go throw everything up..wasted sia..then on Sunday,i met up with sarina to tutor her on her insurance exams & after that we had some hawker fare for buke..when i had expensive chicken & potatoes,everything came out but when i ate normal food,it stays in my tummy..isnt that the most peculiar thing..??

i still havent got my baju for eid mubarak..not sure if i'm even getting one in the first place..haiihhh..with the baby on the way & all,i'm not sure if i want to splurge on an outfit that i'm only going to put on only for a few times..still..balie said he'l help me look out for a nice one..& yes..i trust balie's taste..so...can consider..hehe..

anyways..here's a scan of my baby.. =)

2006-10-12T19:43:00.000-07:00

..the very first time i tasted a strawberry pavlova was during an office christmas party 2 years ago & the delightful thing was baked by my ex-colleague..then a few weeks after, i ordered the cake from him..(yes,its a HIM who baked it)..the cake was like nothing that i've ever seen or tasted in my entire life..no..its not exaggeration on my part..its the honest truth..the cake was THAT good..

..the first taste was definitely one to remember..there was an explosion of flavours wen i popped a spoonful of the cake into my mouth..the sweet taste of the meringue & oooouuhhh tat cream..topped off with sweet & somewhat tangy strawberries..sinful..i tell u..

..but then..that was 2 years ago & sadly after i left the company,i never got the chance to ever taste that sweet sensation again..until,yesterday..i came across the recipe over the internet..call me a nutcase..but i was soooo overjoyed..

..alas..i get to rekindle my lost love..

2006-10-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

anna..anna..where for art thou anna...

2006-10-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

I just cant believe how some ppl can be such an ingrate..!!! ..here i am struggling to do my job & covering her duties at the same time whilst she's on a 2 weeks break & the moment she returns,the first thing she does is raise her stupid voice at me..she was infuriated becos i did not take any action on an enquiry that her client emailed her last friday..an enquiry,my ass..!!!!..it was an email with a loooonng list of qns practically asking me abt the entire policy when in actual the fact the client was just going for a simple operation..??!!!..i told the client on the phone that i would reply to the email once i have the time..but point is..i didnt have any time to reply to her email as i was on sick leave from sat-weds..so when i came back this morning,my colleague was pissed as i had not taken any action & she raised her voice at me..i got so blardy mad that shouted back at her..i mean..WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS..?..i've been working my ass off covering her duties to the extend of going home at nearly 8pm last Friday & instead of a simple thanks,wat i got was this!!!!???

i'm not expecting her to be grateful or present me with a token of appreciation..i'm not even expecting her to acknowledge my effort..as colleagues,i believe that i should help out as & wen i can..wen i was on my 2 weeks leave on my honeymoon,did anyone cover any of my duties..??..not a single moron did anything for my side..

..i'm like really super pissed now..this is not the 1st time it has happened..each time she is under pressure by her clients..she'll raise her voice at me one way or another..i'm not being overly sensitive or anything..but wat does she take me for??!!!..

stupid piece of crap..!!..

..i am sUch an .I.T. idiot..

2006-10-10T21:02:00.000-07:00

For days i've been trying to put up a tag board 4 this blog & ugghhh..i failed..miserably..H.E.L.P..(anna,pls..)

truth be told but really, i am such an idiot when it comes to all the nitty gritty of all these technical stuff..its freaking infuriating..why cudnt they come up with sumting specific nstead of all these coded stuff..??..who understands them,anyway..

..crap!!!

2006-10-05T23:16:00.000-07:00

..my foetus is .O.N.L.Y. 7 weeks old as of today & i'm like already soo exhausted of puking after each meal..i wasted a beautiful dinner with dayah on Monday by vomitting everything out barely 1 hour after the meal..the sight of rice practically makes me sick..i crave for noodles..& spaghetti..& bread..lots & lots of bread..but alas,all those food goes to waste cos just give me maximum 2hrs after a meal & all the glorious food i had consumed earlier would be gushing out of my mouth like a waterfall..heh..gross rite..

..but beneath all this,i am amazed at how another being is actually growing inside of me..i watched the Discovery Channel & at 6 weeks the foetus would already have eyes but w/o the eyelids..the limbs are slowly forming and all this at a mere 1/3 of an inch..the wonders of God..

..each day i wonder..how will things go from here..will the baby be a boy..or a girl..will he/she carry my attributes or follow the genes of his/her father..i really wonder..i hope for a boy tho..

..speaking of girls..

i just dnt understand how some girls can be so full of themselves..self proclaiming to be popular or gorgeous..i mean these titles are often bestowed upon you by others NOT by self-admittance..and the nerve of some goons to actually comment on other ppl when they themselves are of many faults..ugghh..

..ouh on a better note..i made a new virtual girlfren..she was someone i used to loathe because of her arrogant,indifferent face but afterward,i found out that she's cool..here's to a beautiful friendship,yea..

..its been a while since i last met faizah..flo..& shik..fai's planning a dinner next week, i guess..cant wait..till then...

..4 weeks preggIe & still a .L.O.N.G. way to go..

2006-09-22T02:20:00.000-07:00

i was up & about doing about my usual routine when i realised i was 5 days late & to satisfy the curiosity of some of my frens & my colleagues,i did the self test on myself..

Instructions:
If no line appears,you have conducted the test wrongly. If a single blue line appears,you are not pregnant. If a double blue line appears,you are 99.9% pregnant.

And there it was..a double blue line..i had no reaction..more so,i didnt know how to react..i called my hubs & he was the estatic one..he wanted to bring me to a clinic there & then can.not wanting to rush matters & afterall,it was already 7pm,i was tired..i told him to put off the intention till tmr..

The next day,we went to the clinic & i was tested by the doctor & yes,its been confirmed..i'm 4 weeks 5 days preggie..wen the doctor told me the good news,i sense that he somewhat expected a joyous reaction from me..yet,all he got from me was a blank stare..now DONT get me wrong..i want a baby & all but i wasnt expecting the arrival to be in such an early stage of my marriage..so naturally,i was surprised..but i guess,it was a nice surprise.. :)

..hey..being pregnant has its perks..i get to request on wat i want 2 eat & my husband will buy it 4 me..i can demand of certain tings & ppl have gotten them 4 me..hehe..i'm not being mean..but its not everyday tat i get such preferential treatment,yea..

but it also comes with a bundle of hassle..i will puke each time i eat rice..so to date,i've not eaten rice for 6 days..i been gorging myself silly with macdonalds cos i can only depend on macdonalds not to make me puke..i absolutely loathe the sight & smell of fish...uuugghhhh..& sigh..i have to stay away from my lifesaver for nine months--the mighty coke..& there was once,i was in my office toilet washing my hands when a woman started brushing her teeth at the next basin..the smell of her toothpaste was so revoltingly strong that in less than 5 mins,i vomitted..

hence the wonders of being pregnant..........

::r::a::N::d::o::m::

2006-09-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

2006-09-13T21:12:00.000-07:00

..yes i'm now officially Mrs Khalil..we tied the knot on 29th July 2006 after which we left for our honeymoon (Turkey) which explains y i have not actually been blogging..not that i always update my blog,anyway..

these few mths..June - Sept..have been rather eventful..well,in June,i met up with Florence & Faizah like after 7 yrs of not even bumping into each other..let alone meet up..basically due to the course of inviting my old mates for the wedding,i finally got 2 see my frens that i have not been in touch with for donkey years..say,Fai & Flo,Zub,Fir..& the list just continues..& i'm like super amazed that these ppl are still the same after so many years..still fun & outgoingly crazy.. =)

July..my wedding turned out pretty good..from the response that i've been getting,the guests enjoyed the food..the ambience..the music,especially..i'm just glad that everyone pretty much tot that it was a beautiful wedding 'cept for 1 goon..ugghh..who is she,anyway..

..August in Turkey?it was just HOT HOT HOT..with the temperature as high as 45deg..i was surprised my face didnt turn as black as burnt toast..(considering that i'm already dark to begin with..)..but omg,the places in Turkey were like super duper beautiful..there were caves & mountains & fairy chimneys..& ouh..the monuments..haiz...it would put OUR monuments to shame..

..i met up with Aisyah & i made a new fren..yes,its u Miss Suhaini who's going 2b Mrs Mahadi soon..so xciting rite..sum1's bz counting dwn the days sia..hehe..

simpang bedok cum teh session with erin,naz,sri,e-ein & us was a session long overdue..cockles,roti john,murtabak,rojak & teh halia aside,i really loved these guys..they were there 4 me like for always..

my recent pig out session was with my now-dainty-ms shikin..we had an ala carte buffet followed by a fondue indulgence..her great company was very much appreciated la..she knws i love her,too..(",)

..well,this has been a long entry..i'm xhausted..catch u again sometime soon,i hope..

i love the ppl ard me..they know who they are......

::: mOurnIng tHe Loss of mY beLoved uncLe :::

2006-06-15T01:47:00.000-07:00

..08 June 2006, 0559 hrs, i Lost my beloved uncle..mY dad's only reaL broTher..he cHoked in hIs sLeep & passed on..as mUch as as i'm saddenned by hIs sudden deparTure,i am aLso afraId..cOs my dad has the same sYmpToms..he,tOo cHokes in hIs sLeep aT times..i'm jusT afraId.....

..todaY,iT a week sInce mY uncLe's demIse,and i stiLL sense tHe sadness in mY dad's eYes..wen he reTurns hoMe each nIte, he jusT keeps to hImseLf..noT tat he was mucH of a taLker,buT he's jusT xtremeLy quieT these daYs..

::: no one can go agaInsT HIS caLLing :::

2006-05-22T23:03:00.000-07:00

..my last enTry was waYyy back in feb..as usuaL, i had absoLuTeLy N-O time to updaTe tHe daiLy happeNings in mY Life so 2day i shall try to recaLL as mUch as i cUd..

1sT up...oUr dearesT eIn has fOund hIs souLmaTe..tHe name's srI..weLL..sHe's ok..frIendLy type of persOn..i'm sOoo happy 4u e-eInz...iTs been LooOoonnNngg..

LeTs see...waTs nexT...oUh yes...due to an unfortunate accident..mY dearesT sHik cuT her cHin..taTs rite..CUT her chin..she needed 3 stitches for tat..uggHHh...wenT to visiT her on 11 may & meT up wiT FLO & FAI..gOodness..i'v noT seen tHem sInce i left sec scH & taT was Like 7 yrs back..meetin them at shik's place made me realise just hw much i MISSED them..

..i had yeT anoTher mIsundersTanding wiT sOme ppL from tHe wesT..dUe to the breakdOwn in cOmmunicaTion,iT resuLted in a quarreL in beTween me & khaL..sOoo...taT day on,i vOwed to jusT keep mY moUth sHUt in their famiLy maTTers..cOs,wHo am i,aNyway....................

::: waTever Lah,yOu ::: wHo am i,aNywaY :::

b|arLah rahs|a

2006-05-22T22:55:00.000-07:00

Pernah kau Bermimpi Seketika
Berada Di Tempatku
Membayangkan Pahit Manis Berlalu
Entah Siapa Yang Tahu

Mungkin Nanti kau Jua Merasakan
Berdepan dengan Kata Yang Menyesakkan
Takkan Tugumu Kebal
Tiada Pertimbangan

Keheningan Malam Membangunkan
Kepayahan Jiwa Meluahkan
Andai Kau Jujur Memahami
Tiada Ku Menjauhi

Dan Kisahku Yang Masih Panjang
Menambahkan Berat Yang Memandang
Lantas Ku PendamKu Putuskan
Biarlah Rahsia

:::::.....geT L O S T.....:::::

2006-02-24T08:06:00.000-08:00

.....it seems tat ppl just cant stop b i t c h i n abt others.....
..eventHo they knOw nuT s abT the persOn..
.....maYb its jusT hUman naTure.....or maYbe iTs jusT tHem.....
..waTever iT is..jusT..

::::: G.O A.W.A.Y:::::

.....iT tOok me sOo mUch 2 geT 2 wHere i aM tOdaY.....
..& i wOnT Let a bUnch of immaTure braTs ruIn iT 4 me..

::::: wHo are Y.O.U anYwaY :::::

.h.a.T.e.

2006-02-16T05:51:00.000-08:00

..eversince i dorN the head gear,i'v been tHrown cOunTLess reMarks..ridicuLed aT, by sOme of mY coLLeagUes wHo knOws nuTs abT mY reLigion..iTs infuriatIng..iTs insuLting..commOn Lah..iTs been a few weeks aLready..sOo..

:::::geT oVer iT,jerKs:::::

..ugHHhh..despiTe aLL tHose taLks abT beIn in a muLti raciaL socieTy & Living in harmOny, there are sTiLL pockeTs of ppL wHo are too seLf cenTered to be mOre aware of otHer ppL's reLigion..tHe LeasT tHese ppL cUd do is to cOnsIder tHe feeLings of oThers before spouTing wHat to them are harmLess jOkes..Like..

.....:::::wHaTever:::::.....

...:::c H a N g e:::...

2006-02-01T02:54:00.000-08:00

...iTs been months since i've updated tis..mainLy becOs i fOrgoT the pass wOrd 2 my blOg & 2ndLy wen i finaLLi recaLled tHe passwOrd,my cOmputer dIed oN me...Ugghhhh...weLL i'm baCk & i gUess tHere's Loads 2 updaTe..LeTs see...............

:::2006:::

..tHe year kIcked sTarT 2 a wOnderfuL begInnIng wiT me spending my 23rd bdaY wiTh my wOnderfuL HusbaNd-2-be & sOme freNs..nOtIn xTraodInary..jusT a pLeasanT dInner wiT my Loved oNe & sOme cLose freNs..

.....i finaLLy fInisHed aLL the mOduLes i'm required 2 take 4 mY dIp in mass cOmm..taTs a
W H O L E load of mY bacK.....

..........31sT jaNuarY 2006..........

:::c H a n g e:::.....sOme cHanges were reQuired for me..in terMs of appearance & aTTiTude..sOme saY iTs drasTic..sOme sNeered & saY iT wOnT LAsT..sOme saY i was fOrced inTo tIs..buT to me,waTever...i knOw i'm trUe 2 myseLf...trUe 2 hIm...& trUe 2 God..

:::taTs aLL taT maTTers:::

[m][a][I][n] [concenTraTion]...
--mY up &amp; cUming weddIng--beLieve iT or noT..boTh khaLiL & me haVe beeN sOooo busy taT we'v nOt dOne mUch 4 oUr weddIng..**sTress**...taTs mY main cOncenTraTion riTe nOw...sOo LiTTLe time...sOo mucH 2 do...pHoTography...vIdeomaN...cards...enTertainmenT...
...u naMe iT..we'v yeT 2 haVe iT dOne..mUsT sTarT nOw!!!!!!!!!

---tHanx sHik 4 voLunTeerIng---

::iTs been LoNg::

2005-11-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

..iTs been mOre thaN a mTh sInz i LasT updaTed tIs..
reasOn beIn..i'v beeN sUper dUper bz..wiT wOrk..scH..
..tHe fasTin mTh & aLL..bz..bz..

::weLL..to daTe, mA weddIn is in abT 8 mThs::
..& i'v noT dOne aTin..sO nOw..sUper sTress..Ughh..
..buT tHank God..he's wIt me..Like i saId..
**..he's aLL TAT maTTers..**

..mOney is tHe rooT of A-L-L eviL..sOunds cLicHe..
..buT i guess iTs true..frIendsHips brOken..
..prOmises fOrgoTTen..trusT beTrayed..
..aLL becOs of the greeNs..
..i sHud kNw..sIgh..

..sTiLL..i have hIm..
..to cOnfIde in..to sTand wiT..

::::we shaLL noT waLk infrOnT of oNe anOther:::
..haNd iN haNd..gOin tHru tHick & thIn..

:::::::::::::::::::togeTher:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

..Life is fuLL of uNcerTa|nT|es..

2005-08-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

..have u eVer feLT xTremeLy cerTain abT sUmTin onLy to kn0w LaTer oN taT tHe opposiTe happeNed insTead..

..have u eVer feLT taT u kn0w eVerytIn abouT tHe pErson cLosesT 2u onLy to LaTer reaLise taT tHere's sTiLL a LoT m0re To dIscoVer...

..have u eVer feLT absoLuTeLy @ ease & comforTed wiT ur Life unTiL u sUddenLy feeL aLL insecuriTies m0unTing..

..taTs Life for u..

..Life is fuLL of uncerTainTIes..